My inner Devil..

Devillish me,
originally uploaded by dewikeren.

I'm fighting my inner devil... not so cheerful like the picture.
There are many incidents many mistakes, many words that will change my mood in an instant.
Even when I'm feeling positive, I could be torn apart in the next instant.

Call it my devil in me... the one who reduced me to unhappiness. The one I'm trying to say goodbye to, with difficulty.

Let's just see what happens..

Trust, Sharing a life..

Lately I have come into a state of calmness, I'm not sure until when, but I'm glad I'm going through this stage at last.
It took a bit while to forget my insecurities, my stranger thoughts, our imperfections, and our frictions...

Actually sometimes I'm still dissapointed when I see that I don't know everything about you.. saw everything that you do... while almost nothing have passed in my recent life that you are not aware of. But I've come to accept it as a part of you that I may not touch, may never know, but respect.

But of course in time, we could try to get our lives closer and closer ..

Thank you.

Narsis2

Narsis2,
originally uploaded by dewikeren.

Those who never seen me b4.. well this is me..
Finally I'm testing Flickr and uploaded my own photo.
This is usually against me and I'll take it off soon. Dun like my boss to find out what i'm blogging!

Something Indonesian

Inspired by 20th Century Boys volume 8

Kau mendaki..
Aku tahu..
Kau berusaha begitu keras..
Walau begitu lemah

Meski jatuh..
Meski terluka..
Kau mendaki..
dan aku memandangmu..

Saat kau perlahan menghilang
dalam deru suara mesin..
Sesaat jagad raya sunyi
dan hanya nyanyian jiwamu yang kudengar

Aku terpaku hampa memandang
Ketakutan..
Kebencian..
Monster hitam..
yang kini tampak indah..
karena kau ada di sana..

Safari

I also forgot to record.. that a few weeks ago 26 May 2006 we went to Safari in Puncak.
Lovely lovely. It was a lot of fun, but I think the animals have gone lesser and timid.
We enjoyed the Sea Lion show very much, they look so friendly and cute.

I got some on my digi camera but the battery soon ran out. Dad bought us a disposable camera though.. made me feel better. We haven't process the film camera so I think I'll post more pics when we have and scan it.

In the meantime, here's a bear!And a curious zebra!

The Engagement

Just for records, last Saturday my relative got formally proposed to. I'm late in blogging.
I think she looked sweet in her kebaya dress and she looked happy in the photo. I didn't get to see the event because of some misunderstanding.

All the same I wish she has as much happiness as she can, like in Ima, ai ni yukimasu.. but not as sad as that movie..

Talking about the movie, here's a tiny token that I took from a website ... a screenshot of the film.


Alas, the movie points one of the good points of the rainy seasons. I wished it had been the winter season. Much more fatale.. much more dramatic... much more deadly...
But of course.. rainy seasons worked in the movie too.

Those of you out there

Hmm I've been wondering if there are any lost wanderers that came into this blog.
For those of you who read this post, please say hi to me in the comments.
It'd be amusing to know who actually arrived.

Anyway, I know that sometimes I just didn't try hard enough.
I'm just too lazy to do some stuff. Recently I've been asked to do a presentation for my boss
and I didn't do anything impressing and in the end the other boss stepped in and changed everything by himself. Though I suspected that he's deliberately trying to do some guilt-feeding to me, but well it kinda works after I saw some better presentations out there.

On another issue I'm totally lazy to do my studies as well. I didn't even finish a chapter on my thesis these 2 weeks and that's a real shame. Everytime I tried to do something the same sentences came out and the whole chapter looked like a pathetic chant.

I need to get my fighting spirit back, but just too lazy to even do that.. .dang I'm actually enjoying my laziness.

Web Comics

Oh yeah, Recently I've been hunting some web comics and would like to share this URL to those who are bored out there http://www.manatheater.com It contains animation of secret of mana scenes with twisted conversation. Some of them are funny! Check it out, the guys at the office loved it even if they never played.

Talking about office, I've mentioned that I'm having flu just now. I'm thinking of taking tomorrow a half-day off. Alas I couldn't manage a full day off because there's a project that needs to be started ASAP. But I'm thinking whether people would actually buy i'm having quite a flu since I could go to see the MI3 movie.

Whaddya think?

MI3

We watched Mission Impossible: 3, like the whole company together, but some people didn't show up. As usual there are regular non show ups who I'm still begging to know why.
We had quite good fun though I'm having a flu and wasn't too chatty.

MI3 is pretty good. Somehow reminded me of Dan brown's plot.
Well we get to see the rubber face mask for undercover scenes, the only thing that I remembered from MI series. I noticed that Tom Cruise is getting old, and somehow the female main character looked like Katie Holmes (is that why they're kissing for so long?)

On the Japanese side, we watched Densha Otoko series at home. It's funny in a lame sense, the plot is way pushy but anime lovers should like it, they'd find so much of themselves in the guy. I'm still waiting to see if there's any real plot in the movie. Lol.

He he....

Things does not have to go my way, they just have to be right... and I
happen to be telling you the right way to do it...

LOL

9th May 2006

I found a new destination to go. Disneyland.
A perfect place where at least I think my good dreams should come true.
Though I haven't heard people around me buzz after going there but
still... a must see.
When can we go? How can we go?
Still searching, but never gives up.

I hope I can go there .. before I'm too old to enjoy it!

Excited!

I found a tutorial on how to print on fabric directly!
Found it here!
It's so cool and I can't wait to try.. what I need is only two things now:
1. The printer and the ink
2. The freezer paper, and what IS freezer paper in Indonesian?

Still I'm excited as hell.

No Perfect Job

There's no such thing called as a perfect job.

I realized this. Everyone may realize the same thing, but it is kept as a philosophy for disillusionment.

Yet We're always looking aren't we?

When I was down there, I long to be high up, managing the important, becoming important.
Now I'm halfway up, and I don't like what I see.

People have two choices to improve in their career I think,
1. To be the most expert in whatever that is, and you stay there, only better and better and the pay gets higher.
2. To be on the top. Starting to generalize all the tasks, focused on management, etc.. and the pay gets higher as well.

I have chosen no. 2. I don't think it's possible to be 1. But now the more I see it, I begin to feel that no 2 is not the answer for me, nor is 1. What should I do then?

I don't think I'd be happy in either choices, but the fact is we gotta work, right? So I'm scared that I won't feel happy ever until maybe when I get old .. There must be some other way to spend life?!

What Women Wants

A typical title for a typical story.

Women are happy with a happy partnership life, preferrably with a good
husband or spouse.
Women are happy with a happy career life, a career where it isn't
crucial for her to have but where she can explore and test her abilities
and not be bored with life.

How many women have this? I just want to write on people I think have
what they want.
As far as I can remember I have only 2 good friends that I think have
this, one is Lulu, a happy wife with a photo studio as a job, she
travels from Bandung to KL every now and then. From her husband to her
family and job. Wonderful, simply enviable.

The other one is a pretty friend from my junior high, she is beautiful,
she is happily single, and she has a career in linguistics and joins a
drama/theatre group. Maybe not as life-fulfilling as my previous friend
but she seemed pretty satisfied.

In the end I just want to question, how happy are you, are me ? :D I'm
always in awe when I read about their lives, but actually, mines aren't
that bad either.. hah ha.. well I hope the worse part of my life proves to be well worth it.

Old Stories

There's another thing that tonight am bothering me.

I heard and was kind of involved in a long (2 hour) session discussion on religion. Yeah, the old story of answerless endless questions. Well the one who initiated the discussion seemed really happy with whatever conclusion they had.

The story / discussion is about questions like, Should we question God's plans? WHy does God creates brain if He wants us to use our heart to believe? etcetera etcetera and then moving on to some 'rules' that some religions have on their community.

I find it hard to see myself going into a religion where I don't believe ALL of its values, I mean, we can't simply choose a religion and then filters out all the things that we want? Then everyone can have their own way, they can say that rules like going to church don't have to be followed since they don't agree with it.

I don't agree with myself going into a religion when I can't agree with the religion, except maybe if I have to for technical purposes such as marrying someone, or legal purposes. If I declare myself or goes into a church community where I strike out some values that doesn't come into my logic, what's the basic difference with if I don't enter a religion and adopt some values that this church has? The difference that I can figure out is more on the social community side, which doesn't necessarily have to do with God except by doing good deeds and to do good deeds you don't have to do it to your own specific comunnity. And if you feel that you join the community just for the sake of fun / socializing, then what's the point in entering a club where you can't feel at home with, or can't discuss stuff with, or who restricts you with rules?

I may be stupid about these religion stuff, she mentioned that the other two participants were intelligent and said nothing about me-not that I mind, but Thank God I can have my own belief?!

GO!Heroscape!

I finally played my 350 thou rupiah or was it 400 thou rupiah worth of game!!
Look at this, for those you pathetic fools who don't know what Heroscape is.


I finally played my 350 thou rupiah or was it 400 thou rupiah worth of game!!
Look at this, for those you pathetic fools who don't know what Heroscape is.



Turned out really fun! But lost stupid twice to my hunny, once by a mere 10 points and the second one by 1 inch!!! Oh well I'll get there eventually!
We're trying to create more characters and game scenarios of our own with some figurines like Disney and all sorts and I found out that I haven't really bought any figurine since a long long time. Not so much of the type of toy my family is fond of. I had hoped to find at least a few old figurines but ended up with an old clown figurine (not really that interesting) and farm animal toys from my sis's old toys.

But no worries, since the other side of the family (his) are figurines maniacs.. they have all sorts of characters and miniatures and whats-the-use stuff ready for use!

I'm looking forward for my next game anyone wants to join me? A diversion from my thesis (which I may add just recently been reviewed by my counselor and was requested to change 70% of my 2nd chapter *sniff*)

V for Vendetta

A wrong movie for the wrong country to play. Though I am sure and have
witnessed that many liked the idea!
I myself am not impressed by the idea, well I must remember that it IS
from a comic book.
Exploding the parliament building (by a supposedly protagonist) is
stupid whether it's in real life or in a movie.
How does the author / writer think to impress a reader of the idea of
blowing up the parliament building?

"Wow, what a great idea, blow up the symbol of the people. Kill
government officials, then... ? Leave the reader to think what's next."

I'm giving it a C.

Indigo Children

I am exploring the subject of indigo children, crystal children and the likes on the internet.
There are about 25 questions to identify if you are an adult Indigo, and I can answer yes to at least 15 of them I'm sure. Not really counting.

But we as society and as relatives or closed ones tend to abolish the thought or repulsed or even ridiculed the idea of anyone that feels connected with this Idea.
I for one, admit felt connected although I know I don't have psychic abilities or strange behaviours.

It's just a simple thought that when I read the stuff about Indigo children, that seems that their purpose of life is a good purpose and that I, who am not Indigo, could try to achieve too.

IF , and only IF, I AM an Indigo adult, I wonder if I could be more frustrated than I already am with this world.

And again!!

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Quiz O Mania

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

I'm a donut

You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut

You're a complex creature, and you're guilty of complicating things for fun. You've been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life... Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut. To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions.

What Donut Are You?

Hiccups

Hiccups! Why ! How! When!

I spent yesterday in 5 sessions of hiccups, I'm not sure what I did wrong. And each time I got a hiccup I drank lots and lots of water, and after the fourth time I gave up drinking since I got so bloated.

To explore on my curiousity, I Googled up "Hiccups" and got these hillarious article(s)
This site explorese the whys with cures for hiccups, a very long list and absurd

May I quote
" Jump out of a plane."
" Urinate; concentrate on both peeing and breathing."

On a safer side:
Explains the whys of hiccups in an almost understandable method

Good luck with your hiccups!
I've seen a person hiccuped for hours! Thank goodness I didn't experience that. All I know is that if it's for hours there must be something wrong with you or the medicine that you take

Ox Tongue

We went to this restaurant in Menteng, called Miranda.
I went there a few times before when I was 'younger' with my fam. And I
remembered that they sell Ox Tongue steak, and that my dad and sis liked
it quite a lot.
So I brought my dear there in hope to introduce him to the Ox Tongue world.

Surprisingly though, the word Ox Tongue now had more impact on us than
when I was younger, probably the fault of a popular TV show called "Fear
Factor".
So every bite that he took, that I took, we kept thinking about the idea
of tongue eating. Very hillarious and he named it "Psychological war" .
Very haunting, I could even feel it now.

Otherwise the Tongue was quite acceptable, though a stronger sauce could
help get rid of the "tongue aura".

Maybe if we could find another restaurant with a better concoction for
the Tongue that kept our mind above it.

Embarassing Spouses?

A friend typed to me, that he's going to a wedding being the bestman,
and went insanely annoyed with the bride and groom before the wedding.
And even the bride seemed to be annoyed at the groom, and vice versa. So
spouses-to-be went fighting in public and all. Well perhaps one party is
embarassed about the other one and tries to stop and there goes a
fight.. How many people in the world are able to say to their spouses
something like, "Honey I love you but don't do that, it's annoying"
without getting a fight going on afterwards.

Especially if it's in front of other people, and you saw a friend or
even your spouse embarassing themselves, or making other people
uncomfortable, and you just itch to tell them to stop but they can't
take a hint!

Well I pity my friend but glad he's through with it.

For the rest of the world, good luck with your friends and spouse.

Living with the universe

I'm famous for drawing inane stuff. This is one.
I'm naming it, Living with the Universe.

We all live in seperate worlds, trying to reach our own stars (version of happiness). And when we do connect and interact to each other, we reach through this small hole in the wall or window if u want to name it that way.

We do not give ourselves up completely, nor blend in with the other person. We just reach a small tentacle or hand.. and connect. This is why all of us sees a completely different universe than the other.

This is why, we're all so lonely in some way...
And in fact, is there a point in completely blending ourselves with another person? If we do, then for the rest of our lives do we see the sun, the moon, or both ? Are we happier with just a hand connection, or do we all really want to be one.

Life In A Bottle

Sometimes it's funny
Take a moment to think, really think

What did we really want to be?
Who do we look up to?
How did I ended up here?

Am I really where I would like to be?

A lot of the times maybe the answer is no. Life just keeps on putting obstacles, bends on the road and with a certain probability of probability, made us go one fork instead of the other.
And with so much happening and spinning, suddenly you found yourself in a strange remote desert where you just wish you were home.

Does it matter now? Now that we're in this new place, do we look to somehow find a place for ourselves in it? Or do we still seek to go back to the place we first wanted to be?

Which path? Tell me, which?

Status..

If life is so dissapointing, tell me why do we live? It's the little things, that keeps us going.. just a little bit longer..

I have a colleague.. who says.. that it isn't anger that's in me.. it's 'unreleased dissapointment'. To me .. unreleased dissapointment means anger. It surprises me knowing what she thinks of me..

She said, that I'm a closed person.. who doesn't tell people my private things.. (and I thought I have been complaining too much to everyone), and she sees my dissapointment from the way I talk, my sarcasm, my moods.

Well I've been seeing myself as someone pragmatic, highly negatively realistic, and somehow the things around me have turned me a disillusioned personality. Well maybe that's coz I don't want to be dissapointed more than I already am.. with everything. Maybe that's some sort of protection mechanism.

And this is the way I am right now. It's pretty useless to tell me I should change into this and that.. I'll change eventually, if it's meant to be. In the meantime, I'm trying to let me be me...

The Building Blocks

Hmm... *Doodle from neck upwards is mine, and to the bottom is Ant's.* So what is this girl thinking?

The idea was the building blocks are my office, my poor brain, and my hopes, and it's tumbling down faster than London bridge is.

These few days has been tense, full of conflicts inner and outer, in office and out office. So I'm currently emotionally hollow and has no idea what to say about the problem.

I don't even want to hope for a good solution for everyone, just a simple way out for me...

Yes I'm selfish

The Turtle and The Hippo

Got this image from one of those forwarded email.


Love is universal

Love communicates eventhough you don't even know what species the other one is

and Love..just is.

If you're hundreds of years old, like this turtle, I guess one is either living in a great denial or just so wise that you don't care anymore..

Please let me get to be a good turtle, or at least the hippo..

Attachable Penis

Attachable Penis to help women pee standing.
Brilliant
Should get a nobel for this.

Somebody buy me one. Or import this to Indonesia.

Memoirs of Geisha

So I watched the movie last night, and rated it somewhere B to B+
But the more I think about it, now after 18 hours later I couldn't
remember much of it. Which is a shame.
And which inclines me to think whether the movie was not as good as it
seemed to me after all.

The story was less the same, a bit dramatized, and I wasn't as stunned
with the culture as I felt I should be.
Most of the time the movie was dark, and the rich culture and simple
details failed me.

Some controversies involving what is geisha:
1. Depicted as Not a prostitute
2. But sells / auctions her virginity
3. Finally succumbs to have a danna who pays all her expenses in return
to her time, art, body?

Most people I think, and I, watched the movie because we wanted to see a
movie of a hard
and beautiful profession. But it seemed that the movie focuses more on
the love life of Sayuri.

Nevertheless, interesting and entertaining. Quite worth the money :D

Trust your enemies

Tidak semua orang itu baik dengan tulus.
Hampir semua orang jahat dengan tulus.
Kalaupun ada orang jahat yang tidak tulus, pura-pura jahat, berarti dia
sebenarnya baik jadi lebih bagus lagi.

So trust the bad guys, they don't fail you.
I think there's a famous saying that supports this, but I forgot what.

Go to War

Give the soldiers vision, and send them to die happy for you.

Merry Christmas

Christmas Tree
From white cartons
and ornaments.

Religion is dangerous

Religion Is Dangerous said a merchant in Taiko.
Why? Because it can easily gather many followers, and therefore is a
powerful 'weapon' if used.
Since religion is too complex, much bigger than our human apprehension,
therefore we cannot define valid religions by mere perception.
Because we have no right nor power to stop, ban, or proclaim a religion
wrong,
therefore we have no right nor power to stop the actions of the follower
except by mere human/nation law.

Therefore, religion is dangerous.

http://www.liaeden.info/

Warning: I do not endorse this religion nor am I against it.

George Balanchine's Nutcracker

Yesterday bought some ballet dvds, and turned out disappointing, the
first one turned out to be a parody ballet with she-males. ha ha..
The second one, was George Balanchine's Nutcracker, supposedly, but
turned out to be Maurice Bejart's Nutcracker.
A bit of modern, though I must admit I liked how Felix the Cat seemed to
fly all around the room.

I don't really understand the story, need to do some research to
enjoy it.

Misunderstood

I'm so misunderstood.
I'm not sure why.
And I do so misunderstood
or so people tell me.

Are things out of the loop for me
in purpose
or just because?

Am I saying this coz
I'm really feeling the right thing
or did I misunderstood

Kalau A bukan B

kalau A senang itu salahku
kalau B senang itu bukan salahku
kalau A tidak senang itu salahku
kalau B tidak senang itu juga salahku
kalau A diam itu salahku
kalau B diam itu salahmu
kalau A tak mengerti itu salahku
kalau B tak mengerti itu salah A
kalau A sedih itu salah A
kalau B sedih itu salahku
kalau A berkata A
kalau A berkata B
kalau A tersandung
kalau A menjerit
kalau A menangis
kalau A......
kalau A..

salah, salah, semua salah.

Ugly Blue

Saat raga begitu letih
kemanakah kau lari?
carilah elang bermata hijau
ia akan meneduhkanmu dalam tatapan

Saat jiwa begitu mati
kemanakah kau pergi?
carilah kolam mata air
airnya akan membersihkanmu dalam asa

apakah kau punya elangmu?
apakah kau temukan kolammu?
jika ya, bahagialah dirimu
jika tidak, jadikan aku
elang dan kolammu

Dreams

I had bad dreams these days..

The first one is a few days ago, my dad was swimming in some sort of
lake, and there are a few other kids swimming there too. Then somehow
there's a large crocodile at the edge of the lake.
and the kids played around and sort of touched the crocodile's nose and
quickly get away. I don't know why, but my dad approached the crocodile
too, he touched the nose with his leg, like the kids, but he didn't get
away fast enough and the crocodile at his whole right leg. It was very
gory, scary, and terrifying for me. Then I head Dad's voice saying in
his melancholic way "wah.. papa kena ni wi.. gimana dong wi.. " It was
very sad because I was so far.. and his voice sounded like he gave up.
Then Dad's struggling to get to land but the crocodile was very fast
behind him... then I woke up.
I really wanted to cry..and I kept thinking that if it truly happens
what could I do? Run to him and hit the crocodile? Shoot some stones at
the crocodile? What?
I don't think I'll forget this dream. And I am making sure of that by
putting this in the blog.

The second dream was last night.
I was talking to my boss, my dear 'brother' that I wanted to resign. And
he didn't so much prevented me to go, but he has this very dissapointed
look on his face. He was like 'You've dissapointed me after all I've
done for you and all my hopes for you' and eventually he puts up this
'whatever' attitude and he doesn't care anymore what I do.
This is very hurtful! Then I said "well I'm not sure if I can make it
there anyway, a success"
then he answered, "That's why! and We've never doubted you here." but he
didn't say that to keep me from going. He's just saying that.. 'look at
the difference between me and your future company'. And then he gave me
some simple task that I can't concentrate on doing because I was so
devastated with the way he reacts.

God Help Me.

Very scared... very sad..

Strange Remix

Utada Hikaru Kremlin Dusk VS 1.8 mm. Just in inspiration while hearing the song and reading the movie script. Text remix

All along I was searching for my Lenore
In the words of Mr. Edgar Allan Poe
Now I'm sober and "Nevermore"
Will the Raven come to bother me at home
We can kiss everything goodbye.

Calling you, calling you home
You... calling you, calling you home

By the door you said you had to go
Got it.
Couldn't help me anymore
-Just like that?
This I saw coming, long before
So I kept on staring out the window
-Just like that.
Calling you, calling you home
l don't see anyone.
You... calling you, calling you home

I am a natural entertainer, aren't we all
Holding pieces of dying ember
I'm just trying to remember who I can call
Who can I call
They're probably inside...
watching us.
Home... calling you, calling you

I run a secret propaganda
They could just take the money and kill us.
Aren't we all hiding pieces of broken anger
That's why you gotta stay in the car,
I'm just trying to remember who I can call
in case something goes wrong.
Can I call
l owe you everything.
Born in a war of opposite attraction
Everything l am, everything l'll ever be...
It isn't, or is it a natural conception
Torn by the arms in opposite directions
and if it takes me my entire life,
l will pay you back.
It isn't, or is it a Modernist reaction

Born in a war of opposite attraction
And l just don't mean the money.
It isn't, or is it a natural conception
l mean what you do for me...
Torn by the arms in opposite directions
It isn't, or is it a Modernist reaction
what you make me.
Is it like this
Is it always the same
When a heartache begins, is it like this
Without you l'm just a dreamer...
Do you like this
Is it always the same
but with you...
Will you come back again
Do you like this
there's not a thing in this world
that l can't do.
Is it always the same
point, and you pull the trigger.
Will you come back again
I will.
Do you like this
Do you like this
Swear it.
Is it like this
Is it always the same
If you change your phone number, will you tell me
l swear.

Is it like this
Is it always the same
When a heartache begins, is it like this
l love you.

If you like this
Will you remember my name
Will you play it again, if you like this

Oh God

Lemmings - The ugly Duckling.

A cute cover of a game for PSP. it works like Lemmings. Cute and stupid at the same time.

I feel like a lemming. someone out there, tell me where I lived my life wrong, and tell me what did I do right? Because i feel i'm such a mistake..

Jinsei

I.red.the.life.insert.distort.why?save.lord.love.disperse.understand.blue
indiscreet.cry.despair.death.ask.how.rainbow.innocent.accuse.because.kill
baby.remember.seperatelie.force.basic.look.misunderstood.listen.mountains
reason.sense.demand.curls.scream.alone.noiseelieve.end.God.ugly.accept
embrace.steal.bar.imagine.bliss.beyond.life.CAN'T.whisper.evil.sin.jealousy
beneath.water.deep.enter.trigger.vomit.blisters.dream.bored.who?pity.mur-
der.person.appreciate.personality.lost.bring.undead.LIVE.beast.die.grunt.
dirty.slash.drum.memories.good.indeed.try.very.much.long.distant.go.brain
expunge.esteem.where?blink.slow.heavy.berant.sick.restore.brisk.love.bean
.easter.cross.increase.defense.yin.kono.mama.de.ii.deshoo.hate.is.stupid.
best.breast.core.kiss.story.lighthouse.sea.empty.divine.search.stink.lead
translate.error.boss.job.learn.study.life.career.climb.struggle.free.buy.
survive.strange.bizarre.ANYMORE.destiny.unique?desire.originality.broken.
..........................s.i.l.e.n.c.e..................................

5h17

5h17 it's hard to be different.

It always starts with something other than me, but it's always me.

I have the thesis
I have the stupid jobs
and now I have me.

How f***ed up can I be?
Just wanna cuddle up with Polly in bed, and elegantly express my tears with The Ghost Of You.
If the world doesn't have a place for me, will heaven ?

Yin and Yang

Yin was the moon
Yang was the sun
They never met.
But then again, did not the sun rays reached the moon after all?
But then again, aren't they a perfect circle?
But then again, who cares?

Adachi Mitsuru

So now I've decided to list all the Adachi's Manga that I've read, just
so I remember.
Title : - Status - Opinion

Jinbe : - Done - OK
Katsu : - Still Going On - Good
H2 : - Unfinished - Very Good
Rough : - Finished - Very Good
Hiatari Ryokou : - Finished - Good
Itsumo Misora : - Going On - Very Good
Touch : - Going On - VERY Good
Natane/Niji No Iro Togarashi : - Finished - Good
Cross Game : - Going On - Very Good
Slow Step :- Going On - Good
Miyuki :- Text Version - Good

I might change my opinion for some though.. when I've finished the whole
series.

What I haven't read :
Nine
Short Program?

Princes Sayako

Just read in the news that Princess Sayako is getting married out of the family.

Quoting some notable stuff,

"To prepare for the dramatic shift to commoner status, Sayako has taken driving lessons and practiced shopping at supermarkets; the couple has studied catalogs to choose furniture and appliances for their new home."

"It's really hard to clean up things like closets and bureaus just after you move into a new place," the Asahi Shimbun newspaper quoted the lady-in-waiting as saying.
To which Sayako replied: "What, you have to clean up?"

"Sayako's sister-in-law, Crown Princess Masako, found the opposite transition -- from commoner to princess -- so stressful that she had to take more than a year's break from public duties, only returning to the public eye in the past few months."

Check out the news

Regrets, probably?

Dear Friends,

"Sugar we're going down swinging... I'll be your number one... "
the lyric is unrelated, but I'm definitely reminded of all of you when
I'm hearing the song.
It's like we're all standing on a high mountain, and I'll be leaving,
dropping to the midst of nowhere. Hopefully for the better.
Please pray for me good friends. Please don't get angry with me..
Although there's also a possibility that you will be happy with me gone,
I don't mind. I will miss you anyway.

I'll be doing a huge jump, hopefully if I fall, you will still be there
to catch me.

Thank you for so much good time.

Your Humble Turtle.

OSIM

Hehe I caught a man sleeping in OSIM's foot massaging machine.
The pic is blurry but I'm sure you can distinguish his figure. Lol
Enjoy.

Confused..

Once again I'm at the same fork of road.
Both roads leads to fine places, I don't know which one I should go to..
I don't want to be a materialistic girl. I don't want to be a person who
doesn't know how to bide her time.
Yet I don't want to be someone who always loses good chances, and this
is a good chance.
Should I?
Tell me, book of answers. What does my heart say?
Even without the numbers, I will be as confused. It's not about the
numbers, it's about the opportunity. It's about how life would be
afterwards.

I want to ask everyone what their opinion is, but I know everyone would
say it's up to me.
But I can't help it.. I'm just not sure.
What should I do ?!

Patrick and Polly Madagascar

This is Patrick and Polly Madagascar, the newest member of my room / family. They're so cozyyyyyyy.
Guess which is Polly and which is Patrick.

The pic is a bit blur :(

I'm sorry..

When I saw all about her
When I read everything else
When I imagined all about her
I want to forget myself
want to forget who I am, what I was, What I became..
When I remembered about her
I said sorry.. to myself.

1 year 5 months

Yay! It's been 1 year and 5 months ( + 1 if you count the posting date)
Me be very happy. Hopefully this will last years and years and years to
come.....
I adore you!

I wanna dance ballet

Blame the mangas and the movies that I watch, I now have a (short-term?) desire to learn ballet.
As usual I think it's going to be short-term. I usually found out one way or another that it's not going to come true..

But I always thought dancing.. would free me.. from something. As if I can move.. and be happy.
If only I have known this earlier.. or younger.

But I'm going to dream anyway :)

Doodle

This is my doodle to day,.. I had wanted to make it more detail but it ended up being too small to be detailed.

It's a lonely old man looking to the distance. (Yes, that's a man)

Running..

Running Running
Reaching for your Hope
Running Running
Once Again

Behind the frown
Did I see a hint of a sly smirk
Just as I pass by
I know you're holding on

Friends as we are
We'd meet while we run
saying hi
And it's morning all over again

While we run...

birthday piccies

So I finally transfered my birthday pic from my mobile.
It doesn't look too good. I think I need to clean the lenses or something, everyday it's getting even darker.

Here it is.. I'm 23.. *the pic is before I cut my hair*
I ate in Red Bean with family.. yay..looking very happy

I don't want to play games

I don't want to play games with you. I've had enough. You've had enough.
It's sometimes wrong to say the truth.
I'll hold you dear but we won't be together.
I've seen enough people trying to leave me.. and left me.. with anger,
with sadness, or just simply shut me down.
Am I so wrong?

I remembered crying, I remembered pleading, I remembered all the hurt,
but I can't learn. I'm so stupid.
But I can't understand.. how can people leave so casually?

I need people who never leave me.. I need that kind of friend...
I need you to never leave me..

A conversation

A: Wow you hit another homerun! How do you feel about this?
B: I know it's gonna happen.
A: Wow, so are you aspiring to be a no 1 batter?
B: Not really. I just really hate running.

Friendship

I've always been awed, and I always worship stories of childhood
friendship. Friendship that lasts till you're all grown up.. although
most people would think it's too mushy.
I can't imagine having a friend who totally understands me and what I
do, always there, and not fall in love with him.
Therefore I also adore these childhood friendship stories that ends up
in love. ha ha.. how naive..
My top list would be...

H2. Hiro and Hikari. Although I know it's impossible for someone
to know each other so much. It breaks my heart when they din't after all
get together.

I do SOOOOOOOOOOO want Hiro and Hikari to be together. Why don't we just
rewrite the story? It's a beautiful friendship, and more of a love story
rather than Hideo's with Hikari. aah.. regret for life..

Little Women. Laurie and Jo. Not as heart wrenching but still..

Gift (Korean). *forgot the names*. This one really did end up
together. But it's not so touching..

I'll add some more when I can remember them.

But for now.. I just don't have the energy..
because H2 has left me
bereft..

Cut My Hair!

I let a friend cut my hair for experience !!!
it's ... very japanese now HAHAHA
I loook like a japanese high school girl!!!
But it's all cute and fine :)) *altho it did took almost 3 hours for her
to finish with my hair*
Thanks Yumi!

Remember Quartet Cards?

A good friend just reminded me of a card game named quartet, actually it
has also popped into my head a few times this week, I don't know why.
It's a cute card system where you must collect 'family card' that
consists of 4 cards that would be distributed randomly to the players.

It's a creative way to play cards and the design is usually interesting.
I remembered that I had a set of card, and one of them was the 'Dewi'
family card. So in the family group there's Dewi Malam, Dewi Hutan, and
another two which I cannot recall. The pictures are interesting .. hmm
remembering the cards make me want to make my own card set. If only I
have the money and enough Photoshop skills .. lol

Happy..

Happy and black and blue
Why?
I don't know..
just happy..

Falling down the stars

Stairs.. to be exact.

Hahaha I fell down the stairs in a stupid way..
sliding and can't stop myself.. lucky I saved my glass from peril. in
the end I got just a few bruises and a 5 inch skin scrap.
nothing much except that a certain panda was behind me and laughing
saying I fell down in a funny doink doink sequence.. err..

On another note I noticed that people deffinitely work or performed
better when a certain standard or target is set. When a person is given
a standard / target to go over to, they actually believed somewhere in
their mind that it would be possible to do it or that someone else had
done it. I've seen it numerous times, especially in Fear Factor the Tv
Show. The first person is at a disadvantage, because he/she/they don't
know what would be the normal time to do a challenge so they can only do
their 'best'. But when the second person goes, he/she (apart from
already watching how the first person does his act) knows that he/she
has to break that time limit no matter what to get the prize, and
besides the first person had proved that he can do it in such a
time.When you know someone before did it, it became something human to
do. Even if the person who did it was very strong, or that you have only
1% chance of winning.

I've also seen it in my workplace, when I set something to be done in 4
days, it was done. But of course put a time limit that's feasible if we
work efficiently. Not a time limit that's feasible if we work 12 hours a
day.

Stupid Oil of Olay

So the other day Oil of Olay held a program offering to exchange old
moisturisers with their new product Total Effects+.
So mom and I went to the mall at 9.45 AM, before the shops have openned,
and we head to the stall once the doors were openned.

When we got there apparently there's already around 60 people (God knows
from where since the door has just openned). I counted around 60 people
then out of nowhere annoying people come and cut the line, friends from
those in front of us. It's pretty annoying but I thoguht it'd get only
to 70 people or so, but by the time the stall openned at 11.40 (yes it's
a 2 hours wait!) so many people had cut the line.

And guess what, Mom and I didn't get it coz we were the 101st person
from a 100 quota... bummer.

Bad marketing system.. They claimed that they're not responsible for the
line cuts and all.. and I agree, but if I got there at 11.45 and cut the
line in front of their eyes, would they let me ?

It's all probably a lie. Maybe there are some of their own people too in
the line. Cutting the quota short.

Oil Price rockets....

So the government decided to raise the price.. again..
Can't they find any other solution besides making the poor poorer and
the rich richer?

If the problem lies in too many vehicles going around then why do they
give each Representative a lux car?
And all the marketing program involves giving cars away?

Why not instead take all the illegal money from the corruptors instead?
Heck Indonesia's rich enough to let outsiders take its oil for cheap

We're happy!!! Are we?

... office is back!!!
We're happy!!! Are we?

Well first, i'm having a bit of headache + flu symptoms. Not only me, Dad's also having coughs.

Secondly, I had hopes that the office would have a positive atmosphere after all that rest but instead it's still the same thick atmosphere (maybe there are too many people working in the same floor).

Thirdly, There seems to be a number of people leaving the office. It's getting lonelier and if they haven't got the replacement yet that means more work for everyone left.

so everyday I have to drag myself from the bed, everyday thinking whether I can take the day off or not...

Are we still happy, friends?

Self-pity

Does this ever happen to you?

Sometimes I say to myself..
People don't have to like each other..
we can hate each other it doesn't matter
we have our own principles..
or.. I don't care they don't know the real me..

But the more I think about it, the more I realize
They're just an excuse of my fear of being disliked by someone.

Why can't I just say, I hate being disliked, I feel lonely.

As a matter of fact, I just did..

Scary..

I'm scared..
trapped in this illuminosity..
What's going on?
Save us..


I discovered something that made me even more disturbed, such that I cannot write it here... perhaps someday I can retell.

I have learnt something yesterday as I listened to a conversation in front of me. It is that..
When we push our principles, when we chase those others, when we fought and won... we will be the last standing person, and that must've felt lonely.

What does it mean? It means that sometimes we cannot fight for what we believe in, because we are human and we need more than just a correct principle. It is best to hold back, swallow a little bit of pride or indignancies and smile..
Our life might be a lot happier and less lonelier that way.

Idling..

Look what I've done in my 'holiday'! I finally managed to finish what i started almost a year ago. Isn't it cute!!!!!?!? Too bad the picture's a bit blurry and the lighting's all wrong.

Building such a cute thing made me proud of myself.. and gave me some of my confidence that I can finish the things I set to finish after all. It's all in our minds

Tomorrow's my mom's birthday.. and I hope we'll have a lovely time. No nags, no complaints.. just peace.. I'm looking for peace a lot these days.

Maybe it's because of this unfinished office businesses? I'm like a chicken without a head, I don't know what to do.. and everyday I felt like I had made a mistake, that I should have done so much more, guilt, fear, and regret.. of what? I'm not even sure.

How to report user?

I was pleasently surprised a few minutes ago when I saw a comment on my blog.
But then it apparently seemed to be a SPAM comment. Now I'm trying to find out how to report the Blogger user. Can't seem to find any clue on the Help section though. Anyone?

Another silly problem today is that I keep on misplacing my mom's birthday card. Actually it's supposed to be a dad to mom birthday card. I misplaced itself a year ago just near the birth Date, and it has misplaced itself again this year. What's wrong with being my mom's birthday card anyway?

Well well..

Working from home does have its pros and cons.

My Pros:
- I could wake up at 10.00 AM like I did today
- I could do whatever I want in the mean time when I don't have anything to do
- I can wear anything I like

My Cons:
- Internet connection on dial up is very .. very.. bad.
- There's no one to talk to!
- Team Coordination seemed to be reduce 80%.

So I spent my idling time to wrap my mom's presents (which I'm not very good at). I am planning to give her a handbag that she can use to go to the office. So I have to twist the bag this way and that to reduce the paper wrapper space it's taken. I hope the bag won't be ruined by Wednesday...

aftermath..

Then yesterday, all the crews have to wait a few hours to no avail. Waiting for our good boss to explain the situation. Unfortunately, he didn't come in physical (altho he was only about 2 km away) but submitted a message via one of the seniors. What? After those hours waiting without nothing to do?

Anyway from now until who knows when I'm gonna work from home whatever I could until further notice.

I slept till 10.30 AM today, felt marvelous! Haven't bathed and just brushed my hair coz someone from waterworks came.

I'm looking forward to change my blog layout but I'm still waiting for some scans I need.

People are just so...

confusing.

Sometimes we think that an old friend was ready to keep in touch again and instead we're faced with this enermous wall that we didn't know exists!

I'm bummed. But I can't do anything about it because I don't want to sound as if I can't let people go. but still..

You make me uneasy, do you know that? Like Rukia in Bleach when Gin suggested to save her... In one sentence you make my world fall apart by giving me a silent blink of hope and then you take it away again.

It's 00.14 guess what..

My detained colleagues are out from the police q. But
my bos isn't. I must commend him for his resilience
and persistence in handling the case in one day. The
head police (of that particular district) seems to be
missing or refusing to come to the office. I expect
he's taking a sudden labor/pregnancy leave haha. When
anything goes wrong we should always believe that the
country, and its people will stand by for the truth
and lawful (how lawful and truthful are we actually?).

Anyway I wonder how much loss do we suffer when we
close down the office for 1 day?

A competitor has even heard and sympathized me in
Yahoo!Messenger today. He said that they're also
preparing themselves just in case the police came to
their office too. What solidarity! I'm impressed haha.

But i'm sure that they're laughing at us from behind,
somewhere.

Certainly beyond ordinary

Well today certainly goes beyond ordinary.
Our office got closed today by the police. Why? Because of licensing, not software, but polyphonics. That's how dangerous music is.

I was just getting back from lunch. We just went into the office and saw strange people around and I thought we have strange looking guests today. We got upstairs and saw more people, and one with a uniform. Then they asked for our ID, all 29 of us. Maybe my crime records won't be so clean after this?

Things got pretty hectic especially since none of the management seemed to available until almost 3 PM. The office boy freaked out, maybe he had a bad history with the police or something? But one of the guys managed to calm him down.
When we got out the office was closed with a yellow line as if some murder happened there and the neighbor offices were looking out behind the windows. We look like a bunch of underground kids maybe running a secret operation to ruin the government.

I'm lucky I didn't get to be brought to the police quarters coz 'til now they're still there waiting for some official police to set them free. But they weren't being rude at.. that's a good thing. I bought them some drinks, I think the police wanted some too but I didn't have enough, sorry sirs.

But this makes me feel a bit useless, for apart from getting some documents to my boss I didn't really contribute anything in managing the situation.

All's well that ends well. Tomorrow we're coming to work again, hopefully with the servers ready or else I'll have nothing to do. Why don't we all take the day off?


Now I still have to do my homework, which I suck at. Let's hope tomorrow will be a better day.


PS: There's something extraordinary besides that, which is, an old friend called. It's nice to hear his voice once again :) I'm pretty happy about that. All clouds have silver linings..

Buying Book Online and stuff

I just tried to buy books online, for my uni work of course. I wanna see if it really works and they won’t run away with my money. If you’re searching for Indonesian Books and stuff do try to go to http://www.bearbookstore.com I think they need the money. They give 10% discount and a referral program that I don’t care to join. Anyway if they suck I’ll remove the link J

 

There’s a cute site if you’re looking for something to do in your spare time which is http://www.maggiemarket.com . It’s in Chinese but it’s not that difficult to look for the game since it’s right there on top.

 

I’m again using the email feature of blogger.com and it’s convenient if you can’t browse around like me in the office.

 

Remind me to..

Delete this post.

I’m testing the Sending Postings by Email feature.

Cool.

 

Tragic Incidents, Continuation

Continuing from the previous post about tragical incidents, in truth, I am scared.

I'm not too scared to admit that I'm scared, though.
When I hear news like this one, I tend to imagine how it happened, what it felt like for her, how life at that particular moment seemed.

To me, it's surreal. And when we realize that this is some normal citizens, with no strange behaviours or nothing to provoke these incidents. I feel insecure, do you?

And I can't imagine if it had happened to someone in my family, what would I do, what should I do? This makes me unbearably sad for the family. This is not something normal, this is worse than a car accident, or some other. This was murder, intent. There was no telling how frightened she was, how lonely, how she saw death.

This is going to stay and haunt her parents everyday throughout their lives, especially if the killer wasn't caught. Hey it's haunting me right now!

Yes, I too, am tainted with this person's deed. I know I'll forget it in time, those who heard about the news all will, but the family won't.

Why does this matters to me now, you ask, I don't even know her.
This matters because she matters...

Tragic Incidents

Sometimes I think I am a hypocrite, and that most of us are.
Recently there was a university student girl from Binus who was raped and then killed in her rent room somewhere in Jakarta and everyone was talking about it, how poor she was, how sad, how cruel the killer was (for I heard her neck was almost completely cut off). Anyway I know it's horrible and I felt very disturbed whenever I think about this.

But in a sense I noticed a long time ago, and now too, that we try to rationalize these things to accept reality while it's quite impossible to do. And then we feel guilty and we somehow try to identify our relationship with her and we try to find all sorts of reasons to pity her more. For example, that she is currently in her last semester, almost graduating. That she is so beautiful (in my opinion), etc etc that makes this even more tragical.

What I noticed so clearly is that usually even the family of the deceased or victim (in interviews) would say things like this (not in this event, but in others) , "He/She was my youngest,he/she was always clinging to me." Or even the opposite, "He/She was always so independent.. ". And then we'd feel 'what a shame'.

In short, we create reasons to grieve. Why do we need these reasons? Do we feel guilty to grieve without them?

it doesn't make sense when u think about it, so what if she was the youngest, even if she wasn't the youngest wouldn't we all be as sad as well? What's the difference between almost graduating and just graduated, or just enrolled? We'd still be sad, we'd still grieve, we'd still mourn.

Maybe we just love gossip, it's something to talk about. But I must admit that I too, at times agree and create these kinds of reasons in these situations.

And I wondered, whether I'm creating this reason (and this post) just to feel bad / sad about myself?

Actually today was extremely tiring, but it helps to republish an old blog every now and then doesn't it? When nobody cares it's good to know that you always have yourself...


Can we help being the person that we are?
or should we always wear that impeccable facade that we are truly not
all kings must be powerful , strong and wise,
all queens must be elegant
they made so much sacrifice
for us that could not understand who they really are..

Please understand.. who I am..

Republishing Babablue-Blues

While hearing X-Japan, I'm reannouncing the past, not renouncing. Yes it's all coming back to me.
A lovely box with a soft purple ribbon on it,
Where all the shadows that haunts
will be kept
and celebrated
each and every second

You may be surprised
but it wasn't you at all
when these times came by
only the past make me whole
only the past understood
only in the past i can dwell
swimming in the dark

not the tragic past
not also the confusing past
that sweet innocent past
where there was nothing else
not even you

so it wasn't you at all
although i was laughing
and they think me insane
a hypocrite by the name

but i can't help it
if it wasn't you at all
right now
right then
until when?

I have no candles to blow
no song to sing
no falling stars
but i did smile

Somehow the tears flow by
and the window stayed dry
the thoughts afar
i wished i was as wise as you are

hearing old voices
seeing old faces
making me smaller
I'm fading why

it doesn't matter
if i laugh or cry
i only wished
your fragrance was there

Testing. I wonder if My blog works now :(

Does blogger works? does it? does it?

As you may guess, yes I've been playing instead of making my project. Why? because the project sucks big time.

I got stuck with every error, the people I ask don't have any solution, the people at java.sun.com don't answer my topic in the forum. And each error solved gives another problem *AAAAAA* why did I choose jsp .. *sigh*

You know you played too much Harvest moon when:

1. You brush your dog everyday at least 15 times a day and talk to it
2. You give flowers to every male and female that you meet.
3. You make spaboiled eggs
4. You fish for garbage.
5. You sleep at 5.50 and wake up at 6.00
6. You dream cows

consumption of McDonald's French Fries can cause cancer/tumor ?? That's the 'in' thing now among the guys in the college. My friends have been known to prefer McD"s fries compared to any other, but read this article anyway http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/news/local/3128245.htm
And any boiled and baked/fried Rich carbohydrate food. What are you saying, now we can't even eat proper baked stuff ?!?! DO you mean.. I can't eat CAKE?!
OH NO!

Anyway.. I shall go and sulk ..
While trying to manage why my jswdk keep giving me "Problem Creating Admin Registry"

I'm getting mushier by the minute. I re-watched Kamisama, Mou sukoshi dake and it's still as sad :( I like some of the logic in it but dad doesn't seem to agree. There's this Korean drama in the tv endless love, and it's also enermously sad everytime I watch it. *sniffles* I don't remember me being this fragile when I was a kid, what's wrong with me now..
Obviously I realize it's just a movie, etc, but it's still sad.

Sometimes when I watch a movie I wonder why does this movie have soooooooo manyyyy crying scene. I mean does it have to be that dramatic.. then I thought well if I'm in that big of trouble I guess I could cry too. But I still prefer non shouting scene. I mean if you have to fight with someone you don't really have to scream on top of your lungs everytime, do you?

There's a replica of Itazurana Kiss here, called Ciuman Pertama. Sux! What happen with all the creative brain existing now? What happened with all the script writers? And I just know it will turn out really weird if you've watched the real version and can't help comparing.

It's time to re-blog. There's so many things that I did and didn't do that I kind of forgot which one to write.
I went to the dentist, since the dentist was busy I was relocated to another dentist who deffinitely gain my favour.
No, it's a she! She just look as if she really knows what she's doing and tells me all the things she does and what's happening with me teeth. I got a couple of small cavities but the old dentist seemed reluctant to patch it up cuz she's busy thingking of her "nasi liwet" so she said.. I don't think it's important at all to patch it, either way it's jsut a little one.. *what m i supposed to do , force her to make a most probably lousy job to my teeth? so I just nodded happily and got relieved pretty fast from the room.

Had a haircut.. looks like matsu takako. the bangs are giving me a bit of trouble, and I didn't know what to do with them as opposed to looking at so many similar hair cuts on the movies. Then again I don't have a hairdresser running at me everytime someone says "CUT!"

Do you believe in fortune telling? Palmistry, etc all those stuff. I am not sure whether to believe in them or not. A friend of mine got fortune telled and it seems that it's not that nice though it's not that bad either. So if we follow what the fortune tellers advices us, would we be putting ourselves in someone else's hands or into our own?

dreams: inspiring murder, party, pool, school, dormitory, ..
A particularly interesting dream was about a commercial.. making one actually.

The product is i think some kind of handphone / sms service. The idea was making a short movie... where there I also become one of the actresses *ahem* hehe. i m supposed to have these two girlfriends and there are three guys.. somehow with conflicts or something else I didn't remember all of us got married.. *not to each other I mean three marriages* .. then somewhere in the movie then one of us will ask but where should we contact to get the arrangements done (I dont' remember too clearly), then there's a cellphone shoot with one of us typing the number. Then the movie continues and so on. So the real commercial is sort of disguised, natural. It may sound cheesy to you but it was nice in my dream at least.

Days full of games. Blissful!
Downloaded Pizza Tycoon, Princess Maker 2, Secret of Mana 1 and 2, Live a Live, 7 Cities of Gold. My life is gonna be busy. :P
I wanted to download Quest for Glory 3 since it brings back good memories of the game, but it's 7 megs... which is actually less than PM2 but finally I downloaded the latter.

Smurfie's stuck with his stories... actually glued to the screen instead of football ... WOW!

OOAD is hard, GDSS is hard. What else is going to be hard.
Friend is getting married, wow.. it seems such a short time since he's been a lousy flirter to the opposite sex. Anyway, people do change and do get seriously serious.
All the best and cheers to him.

I lost my silly exam docket which was fortunately re-printable. I watched the game while writing GDSS and all the rest of the gang down.
I still can't memorise some of the explanations needed. Sniff.

I finished Mists of Avalon. Tragic, but nonetheless beautiful.
The priestess of Avalon may not be as beautiful but I hope the difference may not be so large.
We shall see :)

"he worships the ground she walks on" .. where did that phrase first come from? or she worships the ground he walks on?
I have grown to like the phrase. Though I know not why, only some encounters on books have I met the phrases.

One exam has passed, it was not easy as the question trends change. I hope not to meet the same fate with the rest two.
I have never understood DSS before, even as we went through the questions over and over again it remains alien to me.
But now as I try to memorise them, slowly some understanding came, but not much I'm afraid, and I can only hope that I can understand enough by the time Sunday comes.

Senegal France 1 0 .. as if the rest of the world did not know this.
LOL. Sunday exam. Now internet. Live for today, yeah!!!!
I dreamt of Kudinar, again. But I forgot what the dream was about.
Only now can I recall that I dreamt of him. Is something wrong with him? somewhere? out there?
I surely hope not.

Watched Monday.
Crazy Funny Japanese Movie. Go figure.
About time I start revision.
When revision starts, everything else but time stops. Sniff!
Started reading Priestess of Avalon. Still in the middle of Mists of Avalon but I'm always ready for new books.

Watched Star Wars II. Attack of the Clones.
Well. where are the clones actually?
Nice aircrafts!

The college is full of footballitis people. Baloons everywhere now for the virtual FIFA thingy. It's a game, I suppose?
I'm too ignorant to notice.

I'm reading Mists of Avalon.
Good for practice not to mind things so much. I'm trying not to delve my feelings to the book so much. It's a lot about religion. Good for those who have good faith!