aftermath..

Then yesterday, all the crews have to wait a few hours to no avail. Waiting for our good boss to explain the situation. Unfortunately, he didn't come in physical (altho he was only about 2 km away) but submitted a message via one of the seniors. What? After those hours waiting without nothing to do?

Anyway from now until who knows when I'm gonna work from home whatever I could until further notice.

I slept till 10.30 AM today, felt marvelous! Haven't bathed and just brushed my hair coz someone from waterworks came.

I'm looking forward to change my blog layout but I'm still waiting for some scans I need.

People are just so...

confusing.

Sometimes we think that an old friend was ready to keep in touch again and instead we're faced with this enermous wall that we didn't know exists!

I'm bummed. But I can't do anything about it because I don't want to sound as if I can't let people go. but still..

You make me uneasy, do you know that? Like Rukia in Bleach when Gin suggested to save her... In one sentence you make my world fall apart by giving me a silent blink of hope and then you take it away again.

It's 00.14 guess what..

My detained colleagues are out from the police q. But
my bos isn't. I must commend him for his resilience
and persistence in handling the case in one day. The
head police (of that particular district) seems to be
missing or refusing to come to the office. I expect
he's taking a sudden labor/pregnancy leave haha. When
anything goes wrong we should always believe that the
country, and its people will stand by for the truth
and lawful (how lawful and truthful are we actually?).

Anyway I wonder how much loss do we suffer when we
close down the office for 1 day?

A competitor has even heard and sympathized me in
Yahoo!Messenger today. He said that they're also
preparing themselves just in case the police came to
their office too. What solidarity! I'm impressed haha.

But i'm sure that they're laughing at us from behind,
somewhere.

Certainly beyond ordinary

Well today certainly goes beyond ordinary.
Our office got closed today by the police. Why? Because of licensing, not software, but polyphonics. That's how dangerous music is.

I was just getting back from lunch. We just went into the office and saw strange people around and I thought we have strange looking guests today. We got upstairs and saw more people, and one with a uniform. Then they asked for our ID, all 29 of us. Maybe my crime records won't be so clean after this?

Things got pretty hectic especially since none of the management seemed to available until almost 3 PM. The office boy freaked out, maybe he had a bad history with the police or something? But one of the guys managed to calm him down.
When we got out the office was closed with a yellow line as if some murder happened there and the neighbor offices were looking out behind the windows. We look like a bunch of underground kids maybe running a secret operation to ruin the government.

I'm lucky I didn't get to be brought to the police quarters coz 'til now they're still there waiting for some official police to set them free. But they weren't being rude at.. that's a good thing. I bought them some drinks, I think the police wanted some too but I didn't have enough, sorry sirs.

But this makes me feel a bit useless, for apart from getting some documents to my boss I didn't really contribute anything in managing the situation.

All's well that ends well. Tomorrow we're coming to work again, hopefully with the servers ready or else I'll have nothing to do. Why don't we all take the day off?


Now I still have to do my homework, which I suck at. Let's hope tomorrow will be a better day.


PS: There's something extraordinary besides that, which is, an old friend called. It's nice to hear his voice once again :) I'm pretty happy about that. All clouds have silver linings..

Buying Book Online and stuff

I just tried to buy books online, for my uni work of course. I wanna see if it really works and they won’t run away with my money. If you’re searching for Indonesian Books and stuff do try to go to http://www.bearbookstore.com I think they need the money. They give 10% discount and a referral program that I don’t care to join. Anyway if they suck I’ll remove the link J

 

There’s a cute site if you’re looking for something to do in your spare time which is http://www.maggiemarket.com . It’s in Chinese but it’s not that difficult to look for the game since it’s right there on top.

 

I’m again using the email feature of blogger.com and it’s convenient if you can’t browse around like me in the office.

 

Remind me to..

Delete this post.

I’m testing the Sending Postings by Email feature.

Cool.

 

Tragic Incidents, Continuation

Continuing from the previous post about tragical incidents, in truth, I am scared.

I'm not too scared to admit that I'm scared, though.
When I hear news like this one, I tend to imagine how it happened, what it felt like for her, how life at that particular moment seemed.

To me, it's surreal. And when we realize that this is some normal citizens, with no strange behaviours or nothing to provoke these incidents. I feel insecure, do you?

And I can't imagine if it had happened to someone in my family, what would I do, what should I do? This makes me unbearably sad for the family. This is not something normal, this is worse than a car accident, or some other. This was murder, intent. There was no telling how frightened she was, how lonely, how she saw death.

This is going to stay and haunt her parents everyday throughout their lives, especially if the killer wasn't caught. Hey it's haunting me right now!

Yes, I too, am tainted with this person's deed. I know I'll forget it in time, those who heard about the news all will, but the family won't.

Why does this matters to me now, you ask, I don't even know her.
This matters because she matters...

Tragic Incidents

Sometimes I think I am a hypocrite, and that most of us are.
Recently there was a university student girl from Binus who was raped and then killed in her rent room somewhere in Jakarta and everyone was talking about it, how poor she was, how sad, how cruel the killer was (for I heard her neck was almost completely cut off). Anyway I know it's horrible and I felt very disturbed whenever I think about this.

But in a sense I noticed a long time ago, and now too, that we try to rationalize these things to accept reality while it's quite impossible to do. And then we feel guilty and we somehow try to identify our relationship with her and we try to find all sorts of reasons to pity her more. For example, that she is currently in her last semester, almost graduating. That she is so beautiful (in my opinion), etc etc that makes this even more tragical.

What I noticed so clearly is that usually even the family of the deceased or victim (in interviews) would say things like this (not in this event, but in others) , "He/She was my youngest,he/she was always clinging to me." Or even the opposite, "He/She was always so independent.. ". And then we'd feel 'what a shame'.

In short, we create reasons to grieve. Why do we need these reasons? Do we feel guilty to grieve without them?

it doesn't make sense when u think about it, so what if she was the youngest, even if she wasn't the youngest wouldn't we all be as sad as well? What's the difference between almost graduating and just graduated, or just enrolled? We'd still be sad, we'd still grieve, we'd still mourn.

Maybe we just love gossip, it's something to talk about. But I must admit that I too, at times agree and create these kinds of reasons in these situations.

And I wondered, whether I'm creating this reason (and this post) just to feel bad / sad about myself?

Actually today was extremely tiring, but it helps to republish an old blog every now and then doesn't it? When nobody cares it's good to know that you always have yourself...


Can we help being the person that we are?
or should we always wear that impeccable facade that we are truly not
all kings must be powerful , strong and wise,
all queens must be elegant
they made so much sacrifice
for us that could not understand who they really are..

Please understand.. who I am..

Republishing Babablue-Blues

While hearing X-Japan, I'm reannouncing the past, not renouncing. Yes it's all coming back to me.
A lovely box with a soft purple ribbon on it,
Where all the shadows that haunts
will be kept
and celebrated
each and every second

You may be surprised
but it wasn't you at all
when these times came by
only the past make me whole
only the past understood
only in the past i can dwell
swimming in the dark

not the tragic past
not also the confusing past
that sweet innocent past
where there was nothing else
not even you

so it wasn't you at all
although i was laughing
and they think me insane
a hypocrite by the name

but i can't help it
if it wasn't you at all
right now
right then
until when?

I have no candles to blow
no song to sing
no falling stars
but i did smile

Somehow the tears flow by
and the window stayed dry
the thoughts afar
i wished i was as wise as you are

hearing old voices
seeing old faces
making me smaller
I'm fading why

it doesn't matter
if i laugh or cry
i only wished
your fragrance was there

Testing. I wonder if My blog works now :(

Does blogger works? does it? does it?

As you may guess, yes I've been playing instead of making my project. Why? because the project sucks big time.

I got stuck with every error, the people I ask don't have any solution, the people at java.sun.com don't answer my topic in the forum. And each error solved gives another problem *AAAAAA* why did I choose jsp .. *sigh*

You know you played too much Harvest moon when:

1. You brush your dog everyday at least 15 times a day and talk to it
2. You give flowers to every male and female that you meet.
3. You make spaboiled eggs
4. You fish for garbage.
5. You sleep at 5.50 and wake up at 6.00
6. You dream cows

consumption of McDonald's French Fries can cause cancer/tumor ?? That's the 'in' thing now among the guys in the college. My friends have been known to prefer McD"s fries compared to any other, but read this article anyway http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/news/local/3128245.htm
And any boiled and baked/fried Rich carbohydrate food. What are you saying, now we can't even eat proper baked stuff ?!?! DO you mean.. I can't eat CAKE?!
OH NO!

Anyway.. I shall go and sulk ..
While trying to manage why my jswdk keep giving me "Problem Creating Admin Registry"

I'm getting mushier by the minute. I re-watched Kamisama, Mou sukoshi dake and it's still as sad :( I like some of the logic in it but dad doesn't seem to agree. There's this Korean drama in the tv endless love, and it's also enermously sad everytime I watch it. *sniffles* I don't remember me being this fragile when I was a kid, what's wrong with me now..
Obviously I realize it's just a movie, etc, but it's still sad.

Sometimes when I watch a movie I wonder why does this movie have soooooooo manyyyy crying scene. I mean does it have to be that dramatic.. then I thought well if I'm in that big of trouble I guess I could cry too. But I still prefer non shouting scene. I mean if you have to fight with someone you don't really have to scream on top of your lungs everytime, do you?

There's a replica of Itazurana Kiss here, called Ciuman Pertama. Sux! What happen with all the creative brain existing now? What happened with all the script writers? And I just know it will turn out really weird if you've watched the real version and can't help comparing.

It's time to re-blog. There's so many things that I did and didn't do that I kind of forgot which one to write.
I went to the dentist, since the dentist was busy I was relocated to another dentist who deffinitely gain my favour.
No, it's a she! She just look as if she really knows what she's doing and tells me all the things she does and what's happening with me teeth. I got a couple of small cavities but the old dentist seemed reluctant to patch it up cuz she's busy thingking of her "nasi liwet" so she said.. I don't think it's important at all to patch it, either way it's jsut a little one.. *what m i supposed to do , force her to make a most probably lousy job to my teeth? so I just nodded happily and got relieved pretty fast from the room.

Had a haircut.. looks like matsu takako. the bangs are giving me a bit of trouble, and I didn't know what to do with them as opposed to looking at so many similar hair cuts on the movies. Then again I don't have a hairdresser running at me everytime someone says "CUT!"

Do you believe in fortune telling? Palmistry, etc all those stuff. I am not sure whether to believe in them or not. A friend of mine got fortune telled and it seems that it's not that nice though it's not that bad either. So if we follow what the fortune tellers advices us, would we be putting ourselves in someone else's hands or into our own?

dreams: inspiring murder, party, pool, school, dormitory, ..
A particularly interesting dream was about a commercial.. making one actually.

The product is i think some kind of handphone / sms service. The idea was making a short movie... where there I also become one of the actresses *ahem* hehe. i m supposed to have these two girlfriends and there are three guys.. somehow with conflicts or something else I didn't remember all of us got married.. *not to each other I mean three marriages* .. then somewhere in the movie then one of us will ask but where should we contact to get the arrangements done (I dont' remember too clearly), then there's a cellphone shoot with one of us typing the number. Then the movie continues and so on. So the real commercial is sort of disguised, natural. It may sound cheesy to you but it was nice in my dream at least.