Can you love someone so much you'd lie?

According to Jodi Picoult you can.

Handle with Care.

It was sort of typical Jodi Picoult story, admirably she always managed to put analogies and metaphors in completely different topic, this time she used cooking. Rather, desert cooking.

The recipes inside though looked too hard for me to try, but it's worth to keep for future references :P. Note to self: One day when I'm good enough I will try at least one of the recipes there.

In the book, the mother loved the child so much, that she'd will to stand up in court and say she wished the child has never been born. All, basically for money, but she said it wasn't for money.. what confusing story.
Even after finishing the story, even after the ending, I still wonder why she'd do that, and about the jury's final verdict. I still don't agree, because I think they'd be fine without the court case anyway.
It was too weak of a reason I had thought, "to secure her future" , "to give her a better future"

But what is the definition of a better future? Is it one where you can comfortably live.. or one where you look back and never a moment doubt that you had been loved?

Well the child did understand the mom in the end *spoiler alert.. too late.. HAHA*

And now, though it is not a good analogy, I am trying to learn.. how to love someone so much I'd lie for their future. Yet at the same time, silently wishing one day they'd understand.. Rather like Itachi, huh? :))

not as much perhaps, but enough to feel a longing
not a sun eclipse, but like a galaxy that realized it has grown to have so much more room.

dis.crep.an.cy
- noun
~the difference between the number of times you heard it and the number of times I've thought of it

I've changed history

I want to save people. But it's too much of a dream.
Tell me how when I can only silently let go of the rain that comes everytime I can't save you.

the dream

so as not to forget my dream, because i don't want to forget
I dreamt of a sheep
No
i dream of my best friend forever, or so boys say

Last day at the office
got a bundle of torn pages from a novel from my bff.. i suspect it's "Twilight"

The office turned out cool sleek and white, like an imac. with cool LCD monitors.









and then there was a party
and me wearing my photo shoot wedding dress
and i was singing with him
.. is it a graduation party?
I suppose it could be
and i was cool and calm
because i know.. i have my bff beside me
:)

Thank you

Then there were fireworks
and we looked up
and the song plays




















a whole new world
only in dreams

i wish i could make you jealous like you always made me

There are some things that can be felt
Some things that exist
even if one doesn't say it
even if one doesn't do it

There are some things I hope to reach you, felt and known.
The times when I can't say it, the times when I kept still.

Know it. Feel it.

If you tell yourself something doesn't matter... it won't, right?
If you tell yourself it won't matter.. this one tear would not mean anything, right?
If I tell myself it'll be okay.. I'm ok.. arent I?

Can you refuse a dream
so true that it's false
so brief it cannot be forgotten
so beautiful it must be unreal

Would you refuse a dream
when reality shatters it
when your heart bleeds
when it's just a dream

a beautiful one nevertheless..

Love comes

Love comes
Creeping in the daylight
Unawake and unrecognized
She robbed me off my feet

Love comes
Gently in the afternoon
slightly too late
for the sun has set and dies

Love comes
Chilling in the night
When all is silent
and the rain begun..

For Love has come with unforgiving Pain by its side..

Not Ever

Not in the same department
Not in the same company
Not in the same city
Not in the same life
Not here
Not there
Not me
Ever

speechless

Feelings left too much
Silence is the only choice
I'll speak in my dreams

stranger things

Waiting for the taxi driver to come, and read a book just newly written by a distant cousin of mine. To translate literally, the title is "When Women believe". It's a religious book on her life story and her family.

Just read a few pages when i caught a paragraph / thought that interests me, she said, when you look for a spouse (in this case, a husband) do not look for wealth, look, or even good. Look for a man who fear God, because that is the only man that will be worth of you (or us). This statement is continued by a quote from a priest Good - God = 0. Of which if we play around with the equation would mean: Good = God.

Deriving from that equation, now why would a man who is good, not worth enough, if he does not fear God?

Nevertheless, reading about fear of God always invokes a certain feeling.
perhaps somewhere in my soul it is a calling, even above all the logical, illogical explanations, contradictions, and accusations. I wonder if I will ever 'leave' this belief. :)

Even though I agree with most of the argument against the greater design, etc, and most common definitions, i find that this inexplainable feeling is persistently there. And if one can be happy living with it, against logic, why shouldn't one?

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to twooooooooo lovely guys
One whom i rarely spoke to nowadays since he's so busy.
And another one whom is always teasing me on everything

Hope the best in life for you both.

Thanks for being great friends
Hugsssssssssssss

Actually i didn't make this picture.. someone else did
:D

May the cosmos be with you

.

tired body, mind, soul, and whatever left of me.

not thinking positive

giving up on life's hopeful hopes

liike, whatever, you know?

Plastic Flower

What do you do when you find a beautiful flower..
say a rose..
it's pink, it has fragrance and all
then you find out it's made out of plastic
and the fragrance is sprayed from a can.
Do you, enjoy it while it still has the fragrance?
Do you, put it away and lose interest
Do you, put it in a water and pretend it's a real flower, or that someday it will turn real?

Killed

there are 2 ways in which we can kill someone, 1. Kill him for real, 2. format his harddisk.
 

Office haiku

paper, pen and phone
the restless mind unfolding
it's time to search life

night haiku

the tears overflow
the window closes softly
dark rises within