Self-pity

Does this ever happen to you?

Sometimes I say to myself..
People don't have to like each other..
we can hate each other it doesn't matter
we have our own principles..
or.. I don't care they don't know the real me..

But the more I think about it, the more I realize
They're just an excuse of my fear of being disliked by someone.

Why can't I just say, I hate being disliked, I feel lonely.

As a matter of fact, I just did..

Scary..

I'm scared..
trapped in this illuminosity..
What's going on?
Save us..


I discovered something that made me even more disturbed, such that I cannot write it here... perhaps someday I can retell.

I have learnt something yesterday as I listened to a conversation in front of me. It is that..
When we push our principles, when we chase those others, when we fought and won... we will be the last standing person, and that must've felt lonely.

What does it mean? It means that sometimes we cannot fight for what we believe in, because we are human and we need more than just a correct principle. It is best to hold back, swallow a little bit of pride or indignancies and smile..
Our life might be a lot happier and less lonelier that way.

Idling..

Look what I've done in my 'holiday'! I finally managed to finish what i started almost a year ago. Isn't it cute!!!!!?!? Too bad the picture's a bit blurry and the lighting's all wrong.

Building such a cute thing made me proud of myself.. and gave me some of my confidence that I can finish the things I set to finish after all. It's all in our minds

Tomorrow's my mom's birthday.. and I hope we'll have a lovely time. No nags, no complaints.. just peace.. I'm looking for peace a lot these days.

Maybe it's because of this unfinished office businesses? I'm like a chicken without a head, I don't know what to do.. and everyday I felt like I had made a mistake, that I should have done so much more, guilt, fear, and regret.. of what? I'm not even sure.

How to report user?

I was pleasently surprised a few minutes ago when I saw a comment on my blog.
But then it apparently seemed to be a SPAM comment. Now I'm trying to find out how to report the Blogger user. Can't seem to find any clue on the Help section though. Anyone?

Another silly problem today is that I keep on misplacing my mom's birthday card. Actually it's supposed to be a dad to mom birthday card. I misplaced itself a year ago just near the birth Date, and it has misplaced itself again this year. What's wrong with being my mom's birthday card anyway?

Well well..

Working from home does have its pros and cons.

My Pros:
- I could wake up at 10.00 AM like I did today
- I could do whatever I want in the mean time when I don't have anything to do
- I can wear anything I like

My Cons:
- Internet connection on dial up is very .. very.. bad.
- There's no one to talk to!
- Team Coordination seemed to be reduce 80%.

So I spent my idling time to wrap my mom's presents (which I'm not very good at). I am planning to give her a handbag that she can use to go to the office. So I have to twist the bag this way and that to reduce the paper wrapper space it's taken. I hope the bag won't be ruined by Wednesday...