Tragic Incidents

Sometimes I think I am a hypocrite, and that most of us are.
Recently there was a university student girl from Binus who was raped and then killed in her rent room somewhere in Jakarta and everyone was talking about it, how poor she was, how sad, how cruel the killer was (for I heard her neck was almost completely cut off). Anyway I know it's horrible and I felt very disturbed whenever I think about this.

But in a sense I noticed a long time ago, and now too, that we try to rationalize these things to accept reality while it's quite impossible to do. And then we feel guilty and we somehow try to identify our relationship with her and we try to find all sorts of reasons to pity her more. For example, that she is currently in her last semester, almost graduating. That she is so beautiful (in my opinion), etc etc that makes this even more tragical.

What I noticed so clearly is that usually even the family of the deceased or victim (in interviews) would say things like this (not in this event, but in others) , "He/She was my youngest,he/she was always clinging to me." Or even the opposite, "He/She was always so independent.. ". And then we'd feel 'what a shame'.

In short, we create reasons to grieve. Why do we need these reasons? Do we feel guilty to grieve without them?

it doesn't make sense when u think about it, so what if she was the youngest, even if she wasn't the youngest wouldn't we all be as sad as well? What's the difference between almost graduating and just graduated, or just enrolled? We'd still be sad, we'd still grieve, we'd still mourn.

Maybe we just love gossip, it's something to talk about. But I must admit that I too, at times agree and create these kinds of reasons in these situations.

And I wondered, whether I'm creating this reason (and this post) just to feel bad / sad about myself?